Jim Bob Cooter is the greates 5th string quarterback in the history of the University of Tennessee. Cooter is 6-1 in. and 220 lbs. of man, and is the greatest football player at the University of Tennesse since the great Barfly Bob Mcgee.

Allow me to quote the University of South Carolina newspaper:

"Even Tennessee head coach Phillip Fulmer appreciates the spectacular athletic ability, superior football IQ and general excellence processed by Cooter. In a preseason interview, Fulmer said Cooter "doesn't have a great arm, but he's a very smart player. At some point I think he can be a factor."

Be a factor? Jim Bob Cooter is more than just a factor. You can't have a name like Jim Bob Cooter and be just a factor. Names like that are reserved for greatness.

I don't know much about Cooter's past, but it could have gone something like this: The legend of JBC began in late summer of '87. Cooter was vacationing with his family at Disney World and noticed a roller coaster about to fly off of its track. Without hesitation Cooter scaled the track and single-handedly stopped the coaster before any harm was caused.

A few years later a grizzly bear escaped from the Knoxville Zoo and wandered into a daycare near Cooter's home.

Being an animal lover, Cooter first attempted to console the bear and convince it to return to its zoo habitat, but the bear insisted on being violent. With a S.W.A.T. team looking on, Cooter wrestled the bear into a sleeper hold and held it until animal control agents could tranquilize it.

In his teenage years Cooter began playing football. At Lincoln County High School he not only played every position on the field, he was also the band director, head football coach, athletic trainer, public address announcer and team bus driver.

He graduated holding every Tennessee high school football record, scoring a 1600 on the SAT and was the first high school student ever to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

When he's not volunteering at a local Boys and Girls Club, Cooter is developing a cure for jock itch and is working on a plan to balance the national budget.

Is Jim Bob Cooter the best athlete/person in the history of the world? I don't know. But what I do know is that you can't stop "The Cooter," you can only hope to contain him. "

Man, myth, or legend. You be the judge