"I'm Going to talk and you're not!"
YOU MIGHT ATTEND ASA IF....
Written by Eric, Chrissa, Andrew, Nathan, and Elisabeth
Edited by Jon (sorry..not really)
-your teachers refuse to give you their number
-you plan out what you’re going to do on the weekend… but never do anything
-you make fun of each others saxophones
-you plan your weekend around your homework
-you call your friends to organize a study group
-all you talk about is music, dancing, or acting
-you practice your instrument instead of watching tv
-you chat online 16/24 hours a day
-you bust out your classical guitar during lunch
-when you go to the mall, all of the hott guys/girls hide
-you’re the only guy in your class… except the one checkin you out
-you’re dress coded daily
-you feel sexy in dress code clothes
-the term “nerd” is a compliment
-a “good” night is only 2 hours of homework
-you read the dictionary for fun
-you go in at lunch to talk to your teachers,
-Sam Watters is the DJ at the dance
-the only competition is for academics and arts
-the shortest 5 paragraph essay you have the ability to write turns out 10 pages long
- you’re a badass for text messaging
-potty monkey is the local hero
-in ms colberts class, you learn how to study in the bathroom, not to date drummers, and a 20 page packet is the norm
-during lunch you go to your math teacher asking to play with the geometry cubes
-you ask your friends to borrow their piano books
-you give lumberjacks jobs because of all the paper you use
-you learn vocab words and then use them in real life
-you think “the ghetto” is a place to store instruments
-you sing to yourself while walking down the hall
-every morning you say “good morning, dr francis”
-you’re happy if a test only has 40 questions
-your answers for short answer questions are long
-you get excited to play football in the park with the drug dealers
-during lunch, the entertainment is watching people try to play football
-you find long period exciting
-your math teacher sais a lot of non-relevant things, i.e. what was on the simpsons last night
-there aren’t popular kids
-during the fire drill your class makes a long chain by holding hands
-the person that got the best test score yells out “you got served!”
-your assemblies are in a church
-your boyfriend is 3 inches shorter than you and in 6th grade
-you can play catch with oranges outside of ms malines room and not get in trouble by ms Roberts
-people obsess over things that don’t matter
-its cool to bring your lunch as opposed to buying lunch
-you count the days until pigeon season
-boys are more feminine than girls
-the last day of school is the worst day of the year
-you ask what is on the summer reading list 3 months before summer and have already read all of the books
-you think “pimp my calculator” would be a big hit
-your guy friends give you tips on makeup
-guys are proud to take ballet
-you find a rock in your chesecrisp
-you go to the symphony more than twice a week
-you ask if you can retake a test that you scored a B
-you ask your fake husband for child support
-you remind your teacher the answers to the test are still on the board
-guys know the words to cher songs
-the teacher asks if anyone has heard of linkin park and 4 people raise their hand… isn’t that a street in new york??
-you name your instrument
-you ask your piano teacher if metallica is considered contemporary music
-“your face” is the best dis anyone can come up with
-new friends include stickers and markers
-you’re afraid of the boogie man
-you actually have a favorite composer
-you are fascinated with the history of rhetorical theory
-you show off your new school supplies to your teachers
-all the girls go by names of Disney princesses
-you rock out to the ABC’s
-you seriously consider converting to islam
-seniors consult their imaginary friend for advice
-your april fools joke is serenading your math teacher
-you cant talk about your “naughty parts”
-physical education is running to your next class to get there on time
-you’ve ever named a sticker
-a girl in your class thinks squirrels can be trapped in sap
-you make up a game called bananas for entertainment
-girls think the term “bitch” is a dis
-all the guys favorite color is pink
-a certain someone is constantly yelling “OO! OO! I know!! OO!!
-everything is offensive because you’re jewish
-girls tell guys to pull up their pants
-random burping in class come out of both guys and girls
-you find a way to relate everything you learn to life
-the term “pansy” isn’t nearly descriptive enough
-your first date is with the person you won at monte carlo night
-you’ve taped and memorized every magic school bus episode
-you think these jokes are funny