Providence Kickball League: Statement of Purpose

Kickball. The Sport of Kings. Those words conjure up images of sweet, smiling children chasing a bouncing red ball across the dusty schoolyard. Kids eating ice-cream cones, riding bicycles, holding hands, laughing, dreaming and making daisy chains.

Well let's make one thing abundantly clear: The Providence Kickball League declares a fierce and terrible Jihad on dreams, daisy chains, laughter and hand holding. Here in the PKL, we play No-Holds-Barred-Kickball - fierce, violent, unforgiving. This is War - not for the faint of heart and not pretty. But make no mistake about it: Kickball isn't supposed to be pretty. Kickball isn’t the Cute Girl with the Unicorn Trapper Keeper who sat behind you in Social Studies; the one you wanted to take to the Sixth Grade Dinner Dance. Far from it. Kickball is the Working Girl you meet in a blackout at The Decatur Lounge and take home after ten to fourteen Narragansett Tall Boys, only to wake up alone, bound to a chair with electrical tape and covered in your own vomit.

That's right. The Providence Kickball League is the most fantastic spectacle in the world of Semi-Organized Sport. A gross physical salute to the Game of Kickball. A testament to everything right and true in the National Character. This is the American Dream in Action: Kickball the way Jesus played it. The way Ben Franklin played it. The way Spiro Agnew played it. This is the Providence Kickball League and we are not fucking around.