Our School History:

In 1966, Saint Charles and Our Lady of Grace farted really hard and those two methane gases combined and formed the craphole that is now Saint Ephrem School...
Now they needed a pastor... and they chose the best... Father Paco Molesteris... and he like most priests decnded from the long line of the species of priest known as petifilis gayiss...And the parish was going really good i guess for lyk 2 years... and the the pastor died from AIDS from god knows why.. get it! its a pun because its a catholic School and its with God... anyway back to my story... In 1968... they had to get a new pastor... and he was really cool... lyk he had the fro and everything so anyway... they got Father Fudgie... why was his name Father Fudgie you ask?.. because his mom named him that i have no fucking idea... so in 1969... they decided to make a Saint Ephrem School when Father Fudgie... after a long night of Chrystal Meth and gettin his freak on with the nuns... he decided to make a School... he got the best designer in the world...HIM!... he made it... while stoned... So Saint Ephrem School was born... In the 1970s things were going great... In 1972 Mrs Domal celebrated her 100th birthday and is still teaching til this day... In the 1980s Father Fudgie died when he told his wife she looked fat... she ate him... So we got Fther Mcguire to be our pastor in 1996... how went went a decade pastorless I dunno... thing mustve been pretty fucked up then... anyway... Father Mcguire was there for 6 years and then one day after Mass... asked a little boy to come in his back room... and touched him... and then told him hed fucking bust a cap in his ass if he went and told the man... So he was arrested and Little Johnny... after a series of tough therapeutical Sessions is still traumatized til this day... So now We got Father Mcateer... and I guesss he's ok... but no we have to call him Monsignor because he thinks hes all cool and shit... Saint Ephrem has held up over the past 40 years because of our... well i guess it just held up cuz everyones too lazy to tear it down... well we have a retarded pastor, a retarded group of teachers, and a retarded school song... i mean who the fuc thinks of that?!?!?!?... I mean come on it seems lyk she was drunk when Marjorie wrote it... and a retarded princial... so thats our history in a nutshell... oh yea i forgot our schools reall cheap too so dont expect air conditioning unless your in the principals office!!!!