Enough already with grown men and women dressing up in dreadful red burlap or musty old surplus fatigues to stand, shivering their asses off and staring each other down across a grassy meadow, firing blanks out of old muskets or rifles and trying to determine whether the other guy's fake ordnance killed them or not. Aren't revolutionary/civil/world war re-enactors just a few degrees too close to the Ren Faire mentality? Can we get past this lightly veiled childhood game of cowboys and indians and do something a bit more dignified than wallowing in the mud of some state fair grounds back lot?

Hell yes we can. We can stay in the comfort of our own homes and spread lies, rumors, and allegations about the 'other' side. We can (symbolically or otherwise) amass huge caches of massively destructive weapons, with no intention of using them until the other side does first. We can even raid our supplies of carefully collected 60s thrift store clothing gems and look the part as we sit around and shit ourselves about the potential backlash from the Bay of Pigs invasion.

In short, we can lead the vanguard for the newer, classier grade of war re-enactor. One that doesn't get shin splints from standing too long in tightly laced colonial spats. One that can get by in life without ever knowing how to field strip a M1903 Springfield rifle. One that can enjoy cocktails in the comfort of their own homes while practicing 'duck and cover' routines to shield radiation from bomb blasts. Yes, here we are, the Cold War Re-enactors.